Even though we were beginning to run out of sun light, I patiently waited for my turn because I really wanted Apo Whang-Od to work on my tattoo. I can tell that she was tired as her hands got heavier and heavier with every “batok”, but the pain was worth it. I tried to joke around and laugh in order to forget about the pain and did not look once as the process unfolded.

Apo and I did not understand each other, but she was laughing and smiling when I was making fun of the situation and even tried to joke when I kept saying “Aray!” when she was only outlining the design I chose. Sir Francis told us that Apo has a funny joke for women in particular when the process gets painful, so I asked Sir Francis to tell Apo to reveal the joke already because it was painful and my nervousness was making it worse. Nevertheless, the pain and surges of blood caused by hundreds of pricks were nothing compared to the experience of being able to spend time with Apo.

The design I chose means mountains. I’ve always been afraid of heights and I still am, but the mountains have always felt like home, and our trip to Buscalan assured me that they are home. Despite the fear and doubt that I have in myself whenever I climb slopes or go down trails that never promise me safe and secure endings, I will never stop moving forward. It is also a reminder to face all of my fears and let go of my inhibitions and never let them win.

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